How many times have you told yourself, “I wish I could do that” or “I wish I had more willpower to do this” …or my favorite “I wish I had more time…”?
We make all these excuses but the reality is that it boils down to having a lack of self-discipline to do things for ourselves.
It’s almost as if we think some people are born with self-discipline but that’s simply not true. Self-discipline is a skill that you build over time where you train yourself to do what you should be doing and set aside things you shouldn’t be doing.
It's a skill that you can build for yourself if you keep in mind a few steps.
In this blog, I’m going to share 5 ways to get you started on how to be a disciplined person. Practicing and building self-discipline to stay focus and achieve your goals.
Tip #1 - Learn Your Weaknesses
No one is perfect. If we were all perfect, we would all have everything we wanted. But this isn’t reality.
To start making positive change in yourself, you need to know where you’re weak at. I know no one likes to talk about the bad parts of themselves but ignoring your weak spots doesn’t make them go away.
Knowing your struggles, why you have those struggles and how you struggle is critical because it gives you a starting point on on where you need to go to have better self-control.
I recommend taking a moment to reflect and write down your weaknesses as you identify them.
If you’re not quite sure how to identify your weaknesses, a good tip is to think about your core values and reflect on how you’re not living by those values. These in itself could be some weaknesses.
Next, it’s good practice to ask for feedback from peers to get an idea of what others see in you. Yes, this can feel overwhelming and scary because you’re putting yourself on the spot and it does take a state of vulnerability that you will need to show others.
It may feel awkward but at the same time, it’s very humbling. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable for the sake of the greater good. This is is not the time to be prideful.
Ask those who are very close to you. This means friends, family, mentors, work buddies… sometimes your own kids, if you got any (and if they're old enough to speak haha).
If you find an overlap in what you think your struggles are and what your peers think, then you know for sure it’s something you might need to work on.
Tip #2 - Set Goals and Create an Action Plan
When working on self-discipline, you’ll want to set goals that are specific to the weaknesses that you have.
Remember, the point of these exercises is to build on your self-control and building your willpower to do things that you know you should be doing for yourself but are not doing right now.
So you’ll want to train your mental muscle on the areas of yourself that you’re not doing a great job at at the moment.
To do this, turn your intentions into action by setting goals that will help improve those weaknesses.
Focus on 1 weakness at a time if you have a few (let's be honest here) and outline an action plan to start working on those improvements.
If you focus on several weaknesses, it might get overwhelming and I don’t want you to start thinking that you suck at life when you come across some challenges in your action plan.
Take one weakness at a time and one step at a time.
An important tip on this is to physically write down what you’re trying to improve and how you’re going to do it (i.e. setting a goal) because if you see it in front of you, you can read over repeatedly for your brain to process it.
It forces you to visualize the goal and the steps you need to do to get yourself to where you need to be.
Tip #3 - Stop Waiting for the "Right Time" and Don’t Let Temptation Take Control
If you wait for the so-called “right time", you’ll never get around to doing it. Start allowing yourself to be uncomfortable for a bit and just start doing the things that you need to do.
Many times we procrastinate or stop ourselves from getting better because we feel uncomfortable. When we feel this way, we feel embarrassed and quickly try to shy away by building excuses for ourselves.
STOP making excuses. You know you do this...
Close your eyes, take a deep breath and keep it moving. Yes, you might suck at the beginning and you might fail a goal along the way but I guarantee you that you’ll learn from it.
With this said, when you start getting cold feet, don’t let temptation take control over you.
When old habits begin tapping on your shoulder like the little devils they can be, it’s easier to just give in because it's familiar.
DON'T DO IT. This is your will power we’re talking about here.
Blow it off. Keep going.
Tip #4 - Fail and Learn
If you’re working on self-discipline, you will most definitely see some failures along the way. It’s okay, embrace it! But learn from it.
If you failed at a goal when practicing self-discipline, learn why you failed.
Did you get distracted?
Why did you get distracted?
What are ways to remove those distractions?
Were you too tired? Why were you too tired? Then find ways to better manage your time so that you can squeeze a little bit of that remaining energy onto your goal.
Did you fall short because you didn’t know how to go about it? What got you stuck? Then find ways to learn more about how to overcome that weakness. The internet is at your disposal, use it. If you have one, use a mentor or a coach as a resource to guide you.
The point is you need to go through the motions of learning through your mistakes so that you can do better next time. Remind yourself that this is part of the process and don’t be too hard on yourself.
Progress is not usually linear so don’t expect it to be when developing self-discipline.
Allow flexibility within yourself and your journey.
Tip #5 - Keep It Moving But Don’t Forget To Take Care of Yourself
Building self-discipline isn’t going to do much for you if you don’t take care of yourself. Sometimes we want to overcome challenges overnight but practicing self-control isn’t done in one day.
At the end of the day you know yourself best so please listen to your needs.
If you need to slow down (not stop) in your practice, then do it. Take care of yourself first before anything else.
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