Want to find your passion but just can’t figure it out?
Finding your passion is a phrase that’s often used in our communities and one that I personally hate. You gotta find your passion, you gotta pursue your passion. But what’s Passion exactly?
If you’re anything like me, Passion looks like stress. This word is so overused by family, friends, coworkers, businesses, school…you name it. Especially coming from a background where you’re constantly being pushed to work towards a higher status in society. Passion is overrated.
When people have spoken or asked me about “passion”, I find that most of the time they don’t necessarily understand what it truly means deep down. It’s a conversation starter for many and it’s very easy to explain if using the same words that everyone else repeats.
What do you want to do? What do you like? What do you enjoy? What’s your fire?
These questions sound easy but truthfully they’re not...
Especially for some of us who have lost ourselves in personal responsibilities that involve taking care of others or just trying to make it through the day by the skin of our teeth.
There’s a lot of us out there, especially moms, who even forgot who they are as a person without the label “mom” or “wife” or “the head of the house”. There’s also some of us who’s all life has been focused on finishing school and then when it happens, “oh shit..what now?”
For those of us who grew up in poorer situations, the phrase “you gotta find your passion” is often linked to the pressure of needing to become someone that is respected by society and pursue something that pays well, like becoming a doctor or a lawyer.
A lot of the time when many of us think of “what’s my passion?”, we break our heads at trying to figure out, what do I like that pays?
And when we can’t figure it out, we’re at a loss. We stay stuck because we just can’t figure it out. And that’s the issue.
Passion doesn’t have to be tied to money. It’s nice to have money but passion shouldn’t have to be tied to it. When we think about passion, we’re thinking about it in the wrong way. What makes it even more wrong is that we put the pressure on younger kids to “find your passion” when they haven’t even experienced life in general.
When you have no idea of who you are as a person, what you like or what you want for yourself, you can’t just ask yourself, what’s my passion?
It just doesn’t work that way.
I’ve struggled with this concept for many years all the while being a straight A student, pursuing several college degrees and having already an established career in higher education.
So in this post what I really want to share is a mindset shift that helped me in my crisis when I realized I was nowhere where I wanted to be in life. Passion is overrated but it doesn't have to be if you think about it in a different way.
Passion is nothing more than figuring out what makes you feel alive. Passion is not limited to just one thing and it doesn’t have to result in a high paying career. As soon as you cut ties from that misconception, the better off you’ll be.
Yes, having better financial flexibility is always nice, but if you pursue something just for money, your journey might get that much harder because there will be a time where you will feel unfulfilled. And then what?
The foundation of happiness for many people is much deeper than money so finding your passion or what makes you feel alive, "it" should be too.
When looking for passion, I’m looking for a state of mind and happiness within my soul. I look for peace within myself. And money is not part of that equation. It used to be…when I was looking for the passion… and it sucked because I ended up limiting my possibilities for the future. This is why passion is overrated in many conversations.
Don't focus on finding your passion and make money.
When you always worry about money, it becomes your shadow. It also becomes your trap. Because it clouds what makes your energy vibrate at a higher frequency.
This is what makes it a struggle to find your passion.
If you’re looking for your passion, you really should be asking yourself the following questions:
What are things in my life, in my day-to-day, that make me feel energized despite being tired?
What is something that when I do this thing, I never get sick of?
What makes me smile?
What fills my cup?
What elevates my energy?
What is that one thing that when I speak up about it, my voice gets shaky and I tear up?
I listened to a podcast where the motivational speaker said, if your passion doesn’t make you wanna cry when you explain it to others (or when you say it out loud to yourself), then it ain’t your true passion and you need to keep looking.
And I can relate to that because things that I thought were my passion were really other people’s dreams being disguised as mine.
If you truly take the time to ask yourself the deeper questions and eliminate the financial element, you will allow yourself to achieve a stage of self-reflection where you can start learning about what truly makes you happy.
And I know, self-discovery is hard, especially when you’ve been in a routine where you don’t have time to think about yourself. Or better yet, when you’re in a state of mind where thinking about yourself feels guilty. Or...you're just tired and burnout.
Get over the fear of guilt and push though the tiredness. Do it. Invest in Yourself. You're Worth It.
I also know that it’s hard to not think about money if you’re in a position where you may be in survival mode and trying to make ends meet. But if you wanna find your real bliss, you really need to allow yourself to unlearn the fear of “money” and give yourself permission to learn about what fulfills you as a person. Only then you will stop struggling to find your passion.
If you're a parent, you must learn to find ways to not force the concept of money scarcity onto your kids so you don't limit them in this level of growth.
Find not what you think should fulfill you but what actually truly does.
This is your first step. So write it down in a journal or your phone, and discover. Only then you will be able to create some form of direction for yourself towards finding your passion.
Once you get into the habit of this, you will become ready to go onto the next step, which is Skill.
Usually when we get asked about our Passion, it’s intertwined with Skill. And skill is something you need to grind for. You need to practice and do it over and over and over again until it becomes a skill.
But the mistake I’ve seen in many college students and people I've mentored over the years is that they confuse Passion with Skill. I confused them myself for a very long time.
Passion and Skill are two different things.
Passion is what fills you up with contentment, with energy…makes you feel alive. Skill is the work that you put into it to perfect it.
For example, a chef may have a passion for the kitchen. When she makes a dish, it takes her back to her childhood when she spent time with her family in the kitchen, it soothes her and allows her to disconnect herself from the world.
Putting in the work to learn her condiments, her vegetables, fruits, bases, what mixes well versus what makes a disaster of a dish, how to cut 10 onions in less than a minute… that’s skill. It’s practice that she’s had to develop over time. Trial and error comes with it too.
Allow yourself to make mistakes about what you think you like and learn that it’s not actually your cup of tea. Or maybe it is.
Give yourself a chance to find joys without the obligation of thinking about money. And see what comes out of it.
When you start finding out your joys, you can then start combining that joy with a skill and offer it to others. This could be at a job, it could be at home, it could be on the internet, or in your community.
When you begin to expand your love for something you enjoy, put in work for it and share it with others, it transforms into what people see as "passion". And you'll begin to do things that make you happy.
When you're happy, you're also at peace and it doesn't feel like stress or additional work. So start asking yourself the right questions. You might just surprise yourself.
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