If you're reading this, first let me say that I am very proud of you for taking a leap forward in leveling up your life. The most difficult part about focusing on yourself is realizing that you need to forget everyone else's needs so that you can work on your own. This is easier said than done if you are a caregiver in general, but working on yourself is attainable if you have a roadmap to create the lifestyle that you want. This can be professionally, spiritually, emotionally, physically...you get the idea.
Here’s our Reality Check Though...
We tend to overthink too much. We stress about what's expected of us, who's doing "it" better, what's lacking, etc. The more we overthink and worry, the harder it is to focus on yourself and your needs. Then there's the idea of not having enough hours throughout the day to get everything done the way you wish to do so.
We overthink that we need to be a mastermind of time management and have tremendous discipline to create change in our lives. That our habits need to be perfect in order for us to create the life that we want. And there is no other way to succeed.
But the hard truth is that we fail to think and establish what SUCCESS means to us. Success is not what society says we should be. Success is what you say fits best for your wellbeing, your peace of mind and your happiness.
We forget about our needs. Our needs is every component within our everyday lives that fuels our will to challenge ourselves and push through. It is our FUEL.
We forget that our journey is not the same as everyone else's. It's okay to start at the same starting point as someone else and progress at a much different rate than they have. Faster progression doesn't necessarily mean effective progression. Just as it is okay to start working on yourself much later in life than others have. Everyone has their own journey and each one is unique to each of us.
And we also forget that we can allow ourselves to not be perfect. Every challenge that we face does not need to be overcome with rainbow colors. Failures and set backs are lessons to be learned, therefore, lessons to be valued. If we were perfect, we would not have an opportunity to fall. An opportunity to LEARN.
5 Pillars to Success
Despite of what success looks like for you, you have a vision of what you wish to achieve for yourself. And with this, you have 5 main pillars that will determine how effectively you will get to your finish line with respect to that vision.
Pillar #1 - Wisdom: Your ability to learn, gain insight and knowledge on your experience and apply what you've learned towards an idea that will take you to the next level in your journey.
Pillar #2 - Action: Your will power and energy to push an idea with momentum to make it come to life.
Pillar #3 - Positive Thinking: Your ability to see the pros in every outcome, whether that outcome deemed successful by your standards or a failure. Essentially, seeing the lessons learned in difficult situations.
Pillar #4 - Resilience: Your ability to persist and hold your fort whenever you're challenged along the way.
Pillar #5 - Tenacity: Your ability to push and propel forward no matter what resistance you're experiencing at any given moment.
These pillars, which I've adopted from another blogger due to their value, gives you an opportunity for growth. You will not be perfect at each one and you must allow yourself the flexibility to learn from each whenever you feel like things are not aligning the way you wish they would.
You'll have to be receptive and humble enough to let go of your pride when it's keeping you stuck. Pride and resistance sometimes keeps us from transforming into a better version of ourselves.
To be more acquainted with your pillars to success, listening with an open heart to others who have strengths in each of these pillars will provide guidance on your next steps. Podcasts, coaching/mentoring and audiobooks are also powerful personal growth tools to level up.
Where do you even start working on yourself?
The starting point really depends on the person. There is no right or wrong way of starting, the important thing is to just start. Some people start with the things that they know they need to work on but seem feasible (i.e. easy). Others take the hard grind and start with their most difficult challenges or weaknesses. Just as some people avoid fears while others take them on full force.
When and where in your journey you choose to start will ultimately depend on you. No one is grading you on this. Your journey is not meant to be experienced in any particular order, which is a blessing and a challenge at the same time. You get to choose how you wish to clear out your path and what things you need to work on based on your goal/vision. However, this also means you are responsible and accountable for how you're clearing that path for yourself.
For some folks, this flexibility can be liberating while for others it can be nerve wrecking, especially if you need some form of structure to get started. Again, you live, you learn AND you adjust.
In my personal opinion, if you have a lot going on, the best way to start working on yourself is to be gentle with yourself. Don't take on more than you can handle. Be honest with yourself in regards to your pace. Be gentle enough where you don't add unnecessary stress to your everyday life but also are not selling yourself short in your true potential.
Think plants. When a plant is in its right environment, it grows strong while its roots spread without limits. When a plant is in the wrong environment (let's say a small pot with limited sunlight and nutrients), it will only grow as far as that pot allows it too and how much it's been nourished.
Coaching and mentoring is an immense power tool if you need direction at the beginning and throughout your journey. With coaching, you gain a support system and, together, you can work on a plan to achieve structure.
Also, putting yourself in the right environment will help you get in the proper mindset to stay focused along the way. When you put yourself in the viable environment and you seek direction (either through coaching, mentoring, reading, listening to podcasts, etc.), you are nourishing your foundation.
How to take Action
# 1 Start Small
Humans aren't born knowing how to run. They first need to crawl before they take their baby steps and then walk before they can run. If you deep dive into many successful individuals (business gurus/celebrities), you'll learn that many also started from scratch and had to pave their way.
It's not about how much you take on your plate all at once but rather the quality at which you're approaching every item on that plate. Dedicate adequate time and energy on every step. But one step at a time.
Again, it's about gaining the right knowledge and skills to move towards whatever that vision is. A good practice is working on short-term goals. Every vision has mini-goals that may require multiple steps. Pick a mini-goal and work on the steps required for that specific goal. Focus on just that goal until it is achieved.
Don't get tunnel visioned of how small or big the goal is. After all, the goal is still a step closer towards that vision you have for a richer life.
#2 Paint Your Vision
To achieve a richer life, you need to know what is it exactly that you desire out of it and in full detail. Many people tend to get stuck in their journey because their vision isn't well thought out and too abstract.
You should able to paint a picture through your vision and it shouldn't change every single time you think about it. It should be clear.
What does "richer" mean to you when you think about having a richer life?
Is it materialist or is it creating an abundance of peace and tranquility?
Is it to achieve financial freedom or to work on your emotional intelligence?
How do you put those words into tangible things that you can actually experience on the daily?
When you know exactly what you're working towards, then you'll be able to see with more context what those riches are for you.
Journaling is a great way to reflect on your vision and work on your growth mindset. Creating a visual vision board can also help with this step. Recently, I also learned about a vision box, which is a box that you put treasures of things you wish to have or hope to have. It allows you to hold items in your hand and visualize it.
Related: How to Journal as a Beginner
Break down everything, from beginning to end. Don't leave any details out. Details will allow you to identify attainable goals that you will need to work on. And, yes, fight the urge to omit details simply out of self-doubt or limiting thoughts.
If you find yourself saying things like "that's impossible" and"that's absurd" with a chuckle of disbelief at the end, then you may be in a state of mind where you are engaging in limiting thoughts. If you lack confidence because you've never done it before, then you may be experiencing self-doubt.
#3 Map Out Your Vision
Once you've painted your vision in detail in your head, it's now time to map it out. To lead a richer life, you'll need to enforce a plan of action that will help you manifest it into your daily routine. You cannot act on your vision if you have no idea what you're acting upon.
You should spend a good amount of time mapping out how you're going to carry out those details you've envisioned for yourself. No shortcuts. Do the work.
You need to attach every part of your daily routines to your vision. The way you approach situations, carry yourself, the way you think, how you spend your time, how you consume your energy...I mean everything. Think of it as a branding process. You're branding yourself to become the dream you aim to be (whatever that dream is to you).
The more you carry yourself as the "brand" you wish to be, the more conscious you'll become and the more repetition you'll build in your habits to gain consistency in how you're living your life. Eventually, this will help you create a routine and you'll put yourself in a mindset and environment that pushes you closer to your goals.
#4 Create a Routine and Structure
In building habits towards a richer life, creating a schedule or routine for yourself is essential. Get consistent with days/times that you're planning on working on YOU. For example, if it's physical, like working out, set an expectation of how many times a week you're dedicating to working out. Next, how long is set workout going to take and when it is taking place (for example, will it be in the morning or in the evening? Will it be for 15 minutes or an hour?).
Let's say that part of your richer lifestyle plan is to buy a house, then create a schedule to do your research on mortgages and need to knows about purchasing a home. Clear out your schedule on specific days/times to speak with real estate agents and to go on house tours.
If it's to live a peaceful life, then build a routine on how you're bringing peace into your life. Examples include meditating in the morning and going over affirmations. It may also include spending more time doing the things that you love, like going to the beach, writing or reading poetry, going for walks in hiking trails, or even laying in bed under your covers.
Incorporating structured routines into your everyday life gives you an opportunity to create the environment you need to grow and to nourish that environment according to your needs/goals.
Depending on your goal or the new habits you're trying to create, be sure to find tools that work for you to get some structure. This could be physical planners, apps, setting reminders, etc. Some apps you can look into include clickup, trello, and clockify.
Some people will argue to spend a pretty penny on these tools or invest in a monthly subscription so that you're more inclined to stay on track in order to get your money's worth. But it my opinion, if you REALLY want "it" (i.e. a richer lifestyle), this isn't necessary if your drive and discipline is there.
Also, if you're in a position right now, where you're stretching your dollar, then starting out with free tools are just as good.
#5 Adjust Your Action Plan When Necessary
Working on your action plan can be a lot of hard work and may require you to be tenacious. This is especially true if your vision is more complex. When things don't go exactly as planned, it can be frustrating and overwhelming.
Again, remember to be flexible and take time to learn lessons throughout the way. Gain insight and knowledge on new opportunities that you can use to your advantage in order to tweak your action plan when needed. Be gentle with yourself and stay positive.
Don't be afraid to trial and error as you go. Many times you will need to keep an open mind and remove habits or routines that simply do not work or align with your desired outcome. If realignment needs to happen, then so be it and don't beat yourself up over it. The important thing is that you continue to propel ideas and goals into action, no matter what.
It's about maintaining your discipline (and your sanity) along the way.
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These are the habits I am also putting into practice to boost the quality of my life and my kids. I’d love to hear what works for you in your journey!
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