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Writer's pictureTeresairis Gonzalez

How to Self-Care through Decluttering

A messy mind can lead to a messy place. Messiness can be a sign of some type of emotional or mental trouble. While this may not always be the case, it is an idea worth entertaining.


If you search on the Internet, you might be able to find many psychology studies that show how messiness is actually a pretty common personality trait. On a positive note, there are some people that may have messy tendencies because they possess a creative side.


This means that they're open to new ideas and experiences, but it might also mean that they don't like to follow the rules. And it's no secret that with keeping your personal space tidy and clean, certain rules may need to be followed.


For example, putting books on a shelf in a specific order, folding and putting away your clothes in a specific way, and knowing where to store bills. There are just so many rules to keep in mind when organizing your place.


Cleaning and tidying require a system. While having a system works for some of us, it may feel restrictive to others. The question now becomes, why does a system feel restrictive to some of us?


Why Clutter Exists

There could be so many reasons as to why this happens. It could be because you grew up in a strict home, where you had to follow specific rules or else. It could be because you’ve dealt with some type of emotional trauma in the past that now manifests in avoidant behavior towards tasks that feel too daunting. Messy minds and hearts can lead to coping mechanisms that will manifest in our physical worlds – i.e. our homes, our rooms.


this is where a messy mind can lead to a messy place. A messy mind can mean there is some type of trouble that you have not worked through.


For example, a messy room that belongs to someone who is currently living with the blues can be a sign of how this person is coping with a dark moment in their lives. If you have the blues, it is very unlikely that you’ll feel motivated to get out of bed, much less pick up a stinky sock from the floor that has chocolate ice cream stains on it. Cleaning a personal space can be a real struggle for some of us when we’re going through emotional challenges.


That’s because when you realize that there’s some form of problem, the next thing to do is to do something about it. It means dealing with your own mess. It means acknowledging that an issue exists and can no longer be avoided. It is a chore and no one likes chores.


But we all know that avoiding personal responsibilities, including picking up that 2-week-old stinky sock, is not a good thing if you want to be in a more positive mind space.


This is the perfect opportunity to get intimate with your clutter. Journal and meditate to be more self-aware of why you’re bringing certain chaos into your life.


Why Decluttering Helps Mental and Emotional Health

Just like a messy room, a messy mind means you must acknowledge the presence of chaos. And to reduce that mental or emotional chaos, you have to go through the motions of working on it. There’s no shortcut, there is just you and the problem…and the journey in between.


A clean, tidy space can help bring peacefulness to your physical safe zone. If you have chaos in your mind and soul, the last thing you need is to physically see chaos in your safe zone. When your space is tidy, you’re visually seeing the opposite.


It will create an opportunity for balance. When you don’t have to worry about the outside “world”, you can relax a bit more. When you’re more relaxed, you have better chances of enjoying and being present in the moment. Being present in the moment can be as simple as enjoying a fuzzy blanket and sipping on a cup of tea while reading your favorite blog (pun intended). At the end of the day, self-care is needed for personal happiness.


Decluttering your personal space is a physical practice that you can apply to your mental and emotional health because it encourages you to enjoy your time better rather than loathing dark areas of yourself.


How to Declutter


The process of decluttering your personal space can be daunting especially if you're not used to having a functional system that works for you. Some of us were never taught self-care systems and so...how can you even begin if this applies to you?


The key is to pick a little at a time. Don't look at the entire mess because it will be very overwhelming. The idea is to pick one room at a time if you have a big project. Then, divide that room project into even smaller projects.



Dividing and conquering a little bit at a time at a pace that works for you will lessen the stress in the long run. It will feel less like a burden because cutting down your project may cut down the number of tasks involved and, depending on what you're working on, it will cut time as well. Fewer tasks mean less work, which means less stress.


It's easier when you can see light at the end of the tunnel rather than a never-ending journey that you didn't want to start in the first place.


Start with a corner or a specific spot in one room and don't start anything else until you finished that spot. This can be a bit challenging if you're neurodivergent. Neurodivergence is when your brain processes, learn, and/or behaves differently from what is considered "the typical norm".

If you know that you have some type of neurodivergence, it's a great idea to find tips that work well for persons like you who have found a functional way to cope through the process. Everyone is different and there is no one size fits all for decluttering your home, mind, and soul. Stay motivated and concentrate.


Letting Go of Clutter As Self-Care


Letting go of clutter can be very hard. There are many emotional components that are related to holding on to things that no longer serve you a purpose.


This can be an item that someone special gave to you who is no longer with you or a part of your life. Maybe it came from a special moment that you cherished so much. But sadly, many times we hold on to things that no longer serve us because of guilt.


Some items could have been gifts and we feel bad getting rid of something that someone else gave us. Sometimes the guilt stems from the fact that this "thing" is not broken and still "works". While something may not be broken, your reality is that you don't use it and probably don't even remember the last time you used it.



Coming from a lower socioeconomic background growing up, I am personally too aware of the implications of what is means to live with a level of scarcity and how experiences similar to scarcity manifest in wanting "abundance" in our current lifestyle. Abundance is not always good for you if it means holding on to items that are cluttering your life and do not serve a functional purpose.


This is the time shift your brain and start practicing variations of Marie Kondo, a Japanese organization consultant widely known for tidying up by keeping items that speak to the heart and discard of those that longer spark joy.


While the KonMari Method™ focuses on categories and not rooms like mentioned in this post, it focuses on working through easier items first before tackling the sentimental ones. Sentimental ties are the hardest challenge when decluttering because it is attached to memories and your heart.


There is a level of holding yourself accountable for certain emotional states, working through them, and moving past them to also declutter your heart and mind as means of self-care.


Decluttering Is a Learning Process


Getting rid of stuff in your personal space does not mean that most items have to go into the trash. You can donate to a local thrift store or possibly give them to loved ones as hand-me-downs. This is especially true if you still find value in your items but you've realized that they no longer serve you a purpose.


Decluttering gives you the opportunity to learn how much you've changed over time and appreciate that it can serve a purpose to someone else at a different stage in life than you.


The practice of decluttering can genuinely help you learn that less can be more. This is not just with tangible items but also with personal values.


In my personal journey, I've learned to value less materialism in my day to day, which has allowed me to be very mindful of the items I like to keep. Especially now that I am a mother because I want to teach the value of practicality to my daughter. Practicality doesn't mean that you can't have nice things but it does mean that you find great value in functionality.


Decluttering teaches you to cherish more as you focus less on materialism and unnecessary abundance. When you get something for yourself, it's because you REALLY enjoy it and has a purpose in your self-care routine. It takes away the unnecessary need to just have meaningless stuff.


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