Let’s talk about being STUCK.
Many of us realize when we’re stuck in life. That could be in regards to happiness. It could be when working on specific goals. It could be about emotional growth.
We tend to focus on the fact that we’re stuck when we don’t know how to move forward. But, truly, how often do we sit down and try to understand why we’re stuck in the first place?
Many people usually dwell in their feelings of failure or not moving forward. Some will take pity on themselves and self-mutilate the idea or possibility that they can control change. Others will toss their hopes behind them and suppress them because “life is not fair” and “it is what it is”. We’ve gotta move on somehow, right?
But are you truly moving forward? Or are you simply forgetting when it’s convenient?
Convenience masks itself in time loops, busy work and virtually anything that distracts you from dissecting the fact that you want to make a change for yourself but can’t.
But can you?
I heard a phrase in social media that resonates deeply and has so much meaning.
What you're not changing, you’re choosing.
Let me repeat…
What you’re not changing, you’re choosing.
If there are things in your life that you’re not happy with, and you’re not taking any actionable steps to change them, then you’re choosing to keep ‘em.
Some of you will read this and reflect… and… deflect. Some of you will push back and say “well, I want this but this is out of my control”.
And, you may be right. After all, who knows you better than yourself?
But...
Have you ever stop to think that because you know yourself best, that perhaps you’re the most toxic person you can have in your life when it comes to instilling change?
Toxicity of the mindset.
Your mind is very powerful. When you tell yourself that you can’t control something, your brain will listen and, like a computer, it will process everything in accordance to what you tell it.
In the same way that it processes what you tell it, when others tell you how you “can’t” or how limited you are, your brain will also process that..if you allow it...by believing the shenanigans.
You begin to learn this “idea” and make conclusions on your reality based on this notion that was put in your brain. Almost everything you do, you have learned through something or someone.
It takes a very strong willed person to go against the grain despite what the circumstances are at that moment. It also takes a strong willed person to change their mindset when stuck.
To get unstuck, you have to live through the stickiness and literally push yourself through it. The problem that many of us have is that we want what’s convenient and we also don’t want to work at it to get what we want. We just want it in front of us.
But how to get unstuck takes work. Hard work. Frustrating work. Sometimes, painful work.
You have to figure the why. Why are you stuck?
You have to learn about factors causing you to get stuck. Most of the time, this process requires unlearning what you’ve learned and applied to your life so far.
There are factors that you can control and there’s others that you truly can’t. How many are actually controllable but you’re telling yourself that it’s out of your control?
Are you saying they’re uncontrollable because you don't know how to go about taking control or is too scary and uncomfortable to start taking control?
A lot of the time we choose not to take control and not make change because we know that we have to get rid of things that we’re not ready to let go of.
We are scared to instill change for ourselves because we’re comfortable with knowing what is there at the moment.
And let me be clear… Being comfortable does not mean being okay nor does it mean being happy with what’s in front of us. It just means being familiar with what “is”.
To start getting unstuck, you have to get uncomfortable.
And, ultimately, you have to let that discomfort gain momentum so that you can begin to propel forward to move out of that discomfort zone.
So get a moving friend. It’s about time.
Invest in yourself, you’re worth it.
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