Got dreams but getting the hibbie jibbies about going after them? Then this is for you!
Yes, I said it, starting our goals. It’s easy to identify them and even write them on a piece of paper. But it’s not so easy to actually start them. Why is that though?
Simply put, we’re scared. We’re afraid of change...we’re afraid of the unknown…and...we’re afraid of failing. Humans are usually creatures of habit so we prefer to remain in our comfort zones, even when we may not necessarily be happy in it.
We dwell in our doom and then we cuss ourselves for self-inflicting misery into our lives (for the most part at least).
But let’s talk about our fears for a moment because the purpose of this piece is to get started on the very goals that you’re procrastinating on for that very same reason… fear.
Let’s face it, some of us can dream our lives away. But when it’s time to work on making that dream a reality, we get slapped with change.
Change is scary because it’s accompanied by the unknown. The unknown of the process and the unknown of the outcome. It’s easier to talk about goals than to actually brainstorm a plan for achieving them. It’s also easier to formulate a plan than to actually put it into practice.
Why?
Because putting a plan into practice means an output of energy on our part. It means commitment. It means getting shit done. It means that we have to tell ourselves that we’re ready to face whatever chain of events will happen once we act upon a decision made.
Readiness in itself can be an unknown. When we’re ready to face the consequences of our actions or decisions, it means that we also have to take ownership of our own actions. Accountability then enters our mindset and if we’re not truly ready, we automatically project our outcome towards failure instead of success.
This vicious cycle is what pulls us into procrastination either consciously or unintentionally, spilling our hopes and dreams down the drain of personal despair.
And let’s be real… everyone procrastinates at some point. Procrastination does not discriminate.
You can be disciplined, lazy, productive, Type A personality or Type B, a student or a top leader in an organization. It happens. There is always something that gets pushed to the bottom of the “to do” list.
What's even worse is when we make excuses for ourselves to not start a goal because we refuse to take accountability for the fact that we are actually procrastinating. While many of us do not like to admit it, we love to swim in a swamp of excuses.
If we procrastinate, we do not have to face the unknown or accountability or change… or even worse failure. This means we won’t get judged for those failures. But what we fail to realize is that by avoiding that step to start our goals, we’re missing out on the possible outcome of success.
Don’t let fear limit your readiness or feed your insecurities. Instead, try the following tips so that you can break habits of keeping you from realizing your dreams.
#1 Identify Success in Smaller Doses
Most of us automatically steer our mindsets towards failure when we think of the need to make a change to achieve a goal, meaning we identify what failure means before we even think about what success looks at the end of the journey.
This is because we find it easier to think negatively and criticize before being constructive. We also suffer from the preconceived notion that we must identify a grand idea of success rather than breaking it up into individual (and possibly smaller) milestones along the way.
When you build a plan to achieve your goals, you will most likely have certain steps to complete.
Try this: Identify what success looks like for each step that you have to complete along the way instead of focusing only on the absolute end result.
This cool yet practical technique allows you to see how you’re progressing towards your goal. Identifying just one success, that is, the final outcome.
Think about it this way…
Let’s say your goal is equivalent to a beautiful stone that weighs 20 pounds (lbs) . There are 20 milestones to complete in order to achieve the overall goal. Each milestone is equivalent to the same stone weighing at 1 pound. You have the option to collect a small 1lb stone at each milestone until you reach the end OR collect one stone that weighs 20 lbs. Keep in mind that your journey is a long long way.
What will motivate you along the gruesome journey… no stones along the way or a collection of beautiful stones reminding you that you are that much closer to the end?
A collection of smaller stones indeed!
By choosing to collect smaller stones along the way, you have a tangible way of seeing how much progress you’ve actually achieved. Your perspective will shift towards accepting your successes because you can actually see all of the stones you’ve collected.
If choosing the big stone for the end of the journey, you have no tangible proof of your progress. This means you have to estimate how far you’ve gone and have faith that you’ll finish soon. If you get tired or discouraged, you may not realize how close you are towards the end.
Seeing 19 stones motivates a lot more than no stones at all. In other words, don’t overestimate the challenges, or milestones, in achieving the goal but don’t underestimate your efforts along the way.
Motivation is key y'all!
#2 Stop Settling
A destructive behavior you may possess right now without even realizing it is settling for what you already have by convincing yourself that “it’s okay” when you know darn well that’s not what you truly want.
As humans, we tend to settle because it’s easier to hold on to what we know instead of chasing change and the unknown. We’re so comfortable with accepting discontent just because we’re familiar with it instead of learning how to improve. To stop settling for unwanted statuses and start identifying what you want.
Try this: That’s right, get a piece of paper (or word doc in your digital device) and start listing things that you want for yourself.
Once you list your wishes, rank them from most important to least important. The most valuable items should be at the top of the list. Depending on each item’s complexity, isolate which items you will commit to. It can be either the first, second or the top three items on the list.
Next, define what you have to do to get that item. Identify the challenges that will delay your progress. Lastly, brainstorm how you can overcome those challenges.
An important note to keep in mind for this exercise is that whatever items you have chosen are reasonable and realistically attainable. For example, if you choose “touching the moon with my hands”, you should have qualifications and connections to NASA in order to get to the moon. If you don’t, then perhaps you need to adopt step #1 and identify a smaller success, such as “making a connection with someone who works for NASA and going to school for a field relatable to projects done by NASA”.
#3 Take Control By Not Doing Everything All At Once
In order to get what you want, you have to go get it. Don’t expect opportunities to come knocking on your door without putting some type of effort on your end first.
Always remember that nothing is free even when it appears to be. There is always some type of cost, such as time and energy, and this also applies to your own goals.
Therefore, take control of getting what you want but do yourself a favor and pace yourself. It’s very important that you are aware of your limits and when you could be doing just a tad bit more.
For example, let’s think about weightlifting at the gym. You set a goal to complete 10 reps of bicep curls. If you take a dumbbell that weighs 50 pounds to do bicep curls but you have not exercised in quite some time and you know that you don’t typically carry 50 pound items throughout your day, it is very likely that you may not be able to curl that arm. But if you take a dumbbell that weighs 1 pound, it might just be light enough for you to curl your pinky finger instead of your entire arm. The weight may not be enough to make an impact with your muscle for the number of reps you’ve set out for yourself.
The idea that I am trying to share is that too much at once may be just that for you...too much. When you are trying to take on more than you can handle, you’re less likely to make movement. That is, you are unlikely to progress towards your goal. This can lead towards discouragement which will then yield to procrastination.
However, if you take on too little, you’re still unlikely to progress because it is not enough for the type of energy investment you need to commit to in order to make change in your life.
The point is that you are in control of how much you take on for yourself when starting your goals. If you’re anything like me, you may have the habit of seeing the big picture in your goals and become overwhelmed with the smaller intricacies of the big picture once you begin to analyze it simply because you began to doubt yourself.
As the smaller intricacies become more and more evident, the anxiety that builds up just screams at your soul and yells “TAKE ON EVERYTHING… GET IT DONE NOW” or “IT’S TOO MUCH… SAVE YOURSELF WHILE YOU STILL CAN!”
Both options can be detrimental and toxic for your growth. At the end of the day, they’re your goals and no one else’s. With this said, allow yourself the opportunity to regain control of your fears and your anxiety by creating a plan for your goals that has a pace appropriate for you.
Try this: Once you have learned and listed what you want from step 2, reflect on what small action you can actually do today (or this week) for that particular goal. When reflecting, constantly think about who you want to be (or what you want) within a specific time frame in relation to that goal. Channel your energy in the direction of desired outcome.
Remember, the desired outcome is also a success and you may have already identified what those are in step 1.
#4 Reconstruct Your Failures
So you’ve failed and the level of disappointment is unbearable to experience again, I get it. It is painful to place yourself down in memory lane and deal with the anticipation that you will fail again.
Instead of allowing your experience to take control of you and your future, gain control of the anticipation by using that energy to push you forward towards your identified successes.
Try this: Be constructive about your failures. Identify why you failed and summarize what you learned from that experience in a practical manner. What did you learn that you can actually use to tweak a similar experience you’re about to embark on? How will this tweak get you closer to your desired outcome?
One of the most valuable effects of reconstructing your failures is growth. You learn about yourself and factors around you. You learn to be wittier. You learn what has not worked so that you can continue to try opportunities that may work.
The worst practice you can do for yourself is dwelling on your failures and not doing anything at all. Dwelling on your failures does not get you anywhere with your goals. But if you reflect on why you failed, what you can change in your experience to do better, then that’s progression.
You have the control to make your failures to work for you. Put them to work!
Not using your experience as fuel to move forward will keep you in the vicious cycle of not starting your goals. Yes, it is scary to start something when you’re lacking the confidence to start.
Reality is that growth and progression is often a matter of trial and error. You have to allow yourself to try and learn what works instead of associating it with failure. When you were a baby, you had to try to crawl before you could stand, you had to learn how to support yourself standing before you could take your first step, and you had to master taking your first steps before you could walk. For you to run, you needed to master all of the steps mentioned for you to propel with maximum speed.
Working on your goals requires similar steps but you have to start them in order to propel forward.
Conclusion:
Starting on your goals can be scary, especially if you don’t know how to start or if you’ve failed at it before. It’s important that you dedicate time to learn effective ways that can help you break fears preventing you from taking that first leap in achieving your goals.
Starting on your goals when you’re scared includes identifying what success looks like in smaller measures, stop saying “it’s ok” to statuses that you truly do not want for yourself, taking control of your plan in pieces, and reconstructing your failures instead of dwelling in them. This blog shows you 4 ways to help you get started on your goals when you’re scared.
Yesss!! Big facts & super inspiring! I am an advocate of this currently especially going into my esthetician and nail technician program at Hollywood Institute. I was and have my moment of tru fear that hold me back from accomplish my goals but exactly what you said crawl before you jump but sometimes you gotta rip the bandaid to know you can do anything you set your mind too.