3 Mental Hacks To Boost Your Confidence

Boosting your own confidence can be grueling if you feel like a prisoner from your own mental setbacks, especially if you are aware of them. Building confidence often means positioning yourself in awkward or challenging situations where you may begin to experience sweaty palms, hot cheeks, a racing heart... and the possibility of hiding under a rock for the rest of your life!

For those of us who live with tummy issues, lack of confidence can also mean a bubbly gut and to an extent your rear may speak its own opinions during moments of despair (yes, I said it… forgive yourself...it happens).

Most likely not if you are reading this blog. It is possible to feel at the mercy of an unknown but after undergoing a challenging experience, most of us gain a learning lesson about ourselves to help us minimize symptoms of misery in the future.

The focus at all times during your process of boosting your self-confidence when you may become discouraged is remembering WHY you’re putting yourself through the challenge in the first place and push forward.

Let me share a “not so hush-hush” secret…

There, I said it... now that I won’t explode with that secret, I am at peace with our relationship. Let’s dive into 3 practical mental hacks to get boosting...

Pushing through self-limiting thoughts

I hate to say it but we have to start taking ownership of the detrimental habits we pose on ourselves. Yes, we limit ourselves (and sometimes point the blame at something or someone else other than the true culprit...us). To begin shifting your mindset, you really have to assess your own thoughts. Aside from physical disabilities, many of our perceptions of not being able to do a particular skill is because we’ve allowed toxic thoughts to infiltrate our confidence system.

Don’t let others impose their beliefs, doubts and fears on you about what you can or cannot do. And let’s be honest, this is a habit that is a lot easier said than done but the purpose of this blog is to help you find practical habits, not necessarily easy ones.

Invest in yourself, you’re worth it.

It’s no secret that many of us hold on to comments or thoughts from our parents, siblings, family members, friends, spouses, co-workers, bosses and even strangers who have no business in telling you about yourself. We allow these external comments to control our own thoughts and poison our perceptions of ourselves when that shouldn’t be the case.

What triggered my discomfort?

What is the discomfort?

When or where did it happen?

Why did it happen?

How did it affect your behavior?

Once you have identified your triggers, spend time with them. Get curious and closer to the fear that triggers you. Imagine them. Now, focus on your breathing and muscles. Your muscles may feel a little tense and you may not even realize it. Inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds. Relax your muscles as you exhale. Continue your breathing exercise until you actually feel that your body has relaxed under that particular circumstance. By learning your triggers, you can find healthy workarounds to push through the discomfort.

Learn to distinguish your memories from the facts

When we experience an event, we tend to store our experience in the way that makes sense to us through a memory. It is important to realize that our memories are not always truthful, especially if they are memories containing situations that are unpleasant or controversial to ourselves. Through our memories, we subconsciously store the sequence of events in a way we would like to make sense of it.

This phenomenon is what creates different versions of the same story from different individuals.

Your brain is already picky as it is and it will classify memories in accordance to its own selective memory system. Everyone is different BUT focus on yourself and the true facts within your memories. REAL FACTS, not make-belief facts to feed your comfort levels.

The reason for your brain’s selectivity is confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency to interpret new information to your belief system.

This means that your brain will hold on to information that overlaps and aligns with your personal beliefs, core values and self-image.

Be wary of your own confirmation bias, however. It’s hard to detect it on your own and makes you less likely to engage with facts of your personal memories that challenge your self-image when working on your confidence.

For example, if you support a particular experience, you will seek information to support it, whether intentionally or subconsciously. Likewise, if you oppose a particular experience, you will interpret memories in a way that overlaps your existing ideas.

It’s super important that you raise your curiosity to pull accurate details from your memories. To do this, rekindle yourself with a memory or experience that is filled with self-doubt, limiting self-thoughts, etc.

Also, if you are approaching someone else to help in this exercise, make sure that you are not purposely seeking reaffirmation of your own self-limiting thoughts through that person. Sometimes we are more comfortable accepting our misfortunes than getting ourselves out of it (because it’s harder), causing us to select “crutches” that’s us remain in our own vicious cycle. Break it! Do whatever you have to do to get out of it. Throw away the crutches.

Talk positivity to yourself to overcome confirmation bias

Yeah, I said it. TALK TO YOURSELF. I promise you...it is not a taboo.

Speaking to yourself can help sharpen your focus and perception about yourself or events that you have been part of. It can also help you to overcome fears of self-doubt.

Be careful though...when talking to yourself, it must be positive. If speaking to yourself negatively, you may be doing more damage than you think and you will keep yourself in that vicious cycle. To be positive, you must learn to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.

Exercise: A fun exercise to practice this skill is to draw a T-table on a piece of paper (or word doc in your tablet/computer) and list 10 negative thoughts about yourself on the left side. It can be how you handle situations, skills that you possess, comments you tell yourself, etc.

Next, write the same thoughts in a positive way on the right side. Replace the negative comments with the positive ones when speaking to yourself for a period of time. Maybe 7 days...perhaps 14 days… choose a length of time appropriate to your needs and commit to it.

Exercise: Another great exercise is to come up with 3 to 5 positive thoughts for every negative thought you have about yourself. Digest each positive thought for at least 20 to 30 seconds, then move on to the next.

Validate both good and bad thoughts because reality is that your thoughts are manifested from your emotions. And, my friend, your feelings should always be validated because they exist and they are true for yourself. No one can tell you otherwise because it is not THEIR feelings.

DO NOT try to suppress your negative thoughts or emotions. This is a coping mechanism that many of us have, including myself. Push through it.

Learn to label your feelings for they truly are but don’t dwell on them because you can trap yourself in that vicious cycle you’re trying to break. Carry on.

Conclusion

Confidence has many faces and each one intertwines with one another. Boosting your own confidence can be exhausting if you feel like a prisoner from your own mental setbacks. Building confidence often means positioning yourself in awkward situations but learning to push those challenging moments.